Transitions

My girls are finished with preschool.  In less than a month they will begin kindergarten, the beginning of their formal education.  I am so taken with them; their growth, their talents, beauty, intelligence, capabilities and individuality.

I keep reviewing these first five years; their formative years. Especially in light of what has gone on here this summer, when the idyllic lazy days have been filled with sirens, shelters and scary scenarios, in between bouts of swimming sunning and silliness.

I am filled with thoughts of all our beautiful boys whose lives were cut so short and what their mothers must have been thinking about them on the eve of their first day of kindergarten. I keep thinking about the families; what did they do or not do to raise sons with glowing attributes that we here and abroad have all read about. Good sons, polite sons, sons with values, morals, love of home and land. 

And I think: will I raise my girls well enough? will my values be instilled in them? will they do their homework, get good grades, be good students, kind caring considerate people? Will they have lots of friends and do well in their chosen activites, youth groups, army service and life partners?

Did those mothers think about these things as well?

I keep thinking about my own mother; the stories she used to make up for me, the way she always, til this day, makes me feel like I'm the only one in here world. I wonder what went through her mind on my first day of kindergarten.

If I know my mom like I think I do, I would imagine pride, joy and happiness coupled with the anxiety and bittersweet feeling that your child is growing up and leaving home.

When I think back to that day, I'm pretty sure I can remember the pride I felt, all dressed up in a new dress and red patent leather mary janes, awaiting this exciting new transition.
The mom that was that little girl wishes that sense of pride, wonder, curiosity and joy to my girls.

I only hope that what Ive tried to do these last five years has been "good enough" and that it will work out the way we all envision it will.

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